The main project, the giant camp (or two camps, technically) is over now, but I still have to close out the grants, which the office placed partially under my supervision. It means a responsibility hanging over my head before I go. Then from there I will be assisting with another training, and then giving seminars to teachers during their preliminary planning week before school starts. That last one is during my last week in site. I feel like I should be in my community, saying my goodbyes and explaining my departure, much like I had to explain my arrival (and purpose) when I first arrived. And, honestly, I would like to check out, much like I was able to do in high school and college: peacefully reflect on my experience as I coasted to the finish line. I have no such luck this time. It's funny...I say I thrive under a bit of stress, and then I complain about it. Sounds like business as usual.
Here a few pictures from the first camp back in mid-January:
Every morning we started the day with a bit of exercise. I got a bit off the rhythm here.
During the sexual health portion of the camp we taught and then practiced the proper use of a condom. Then we let the kids have some fun by blowing up their condoms to see just how much they can stretch.
Here I am, leading a call and response stepping activity to grab their interest on the first day.
The other task on my list is clearing out my house. Actually, I have slowly been clearing out my house for the past few months. I go through my belongings every now and then and make a pile of what I think I don't need or use, and then I throw it all into a bag that ends up on the street corner to be burned another day. (That guilt will likely be the reason why I will work so hard to recycle and compost later in life.)
Perspective about your house changes so drastically in only two short years. At the beginning of our service we go from host families to living on our own. In that moment we try to fill our temporary, foreign, bare houses with things, but what we're really trying to do is fill them with significance, markers that it is our true home, even if only for two years. Then we get to the point I'm at and want to purge. I want to try and give things away to ensure they'll get some good use after I'm gone, but I have no qualms about throwing anything away. I just want a clean break and be able to leave without anything pending back here.
Also, much like I did when I was leaving the States, I keep adding "last" to everything I do: Last Regional Meeting, Last GAD Camp, the Last Time I See So-and-so. Everyone talks about bittersweet. On any given day I usually feel only one of the two. Right now it feels sweet. I am quite ready to go back home to a life without so much backward thinking. Tomorrow could be different, though.
How funny that way back when I was just starting two years seemed like so long. Now that it's over, it doesn't seem like enough time. It's a common sentiment among volunteers. For a twisted reason I actually am trying to hold on to a few negative memories, the ones that frustrate me the most. I know for a fact that time will wipe them away and I will look back on this with rose-colored glasses of nostalgia. In my opinion I have to remember a few of the sad stories to remind me that it was real, that it wasn't rainbows and butterflies for two years. I also will use that frustration as an indicator of my own direction in life. If I don't when people do certain things to me, then I should avoid doing it to others. Hopefully I can learn from all the bad things that happened, and not just all the great things I describe in such detail here.
Hopefully I will continue to blog after I finish Peace Corps service, when I go traveling with one of my best Peace Corps friends, and beyond. Don't worry, though. No matter what, I'll be sure to sign off with style.
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